I'm here with you today, with a book review. I just finished reading, My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga And it was.... amazing. This might be a long review/talk. I just have a lot to say about this book.
This book has been on my TBR for a long time. I think I heard about it through GoodReads. But I'm not %100 sure where I heard of it. But once I read the synopsis, I had been on the edge of my seat to read it.
GoodReads description of it: Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.
Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.
So this book is very open about suicide. Like, very open. When I got the book out of the Library, one of the librarians (Alan) made a point, and that was, that these types of books were starting to make their way out into the world. The truth about mental health and suicide are coming out more and more. It is something that needs to be voiced. Especially cause my city, has a very high rate for suicide.
On to the story. I don't really want to spoil it... Aysel is obsessed with the thought of dying. With the after thought of death. Where does ones energy go once they die? She want's to die. Living is just to hard for her. I like the way she personifies her depression. She says that she feels like she is empty and dark like a black hole, and that she feels like she has a big black slug in her stomach, sucking up all her happiness. With this beast inside, the'res no where we can hide. Like the lyrics from Demons by Imagine dragons. (All you who read my blog will know I have a big thing for that song.)
But that is how Aysel feels. She is being destroyed from the inside.
Now I liked Aysel. There was something about her that made me think of me. Also in the way that she dressed. Her curly hair, black jeans and striped shirts. But also in the way that she thought. Trying to not let things bother her. Like she really doesn't care. But she does. Any way. I could connect with the character.
She finds her self a suicide partner called Roman. And as attractive as Roman is, he is one HUGE mess. And he scared me. The thing with Roman was, I fell in love with him. And not just cause he was attractive, but cause he was like a child.... That sounds weird when I think about it now... No... Roman is just so unpredictable. And the more we get to know him. We really get to see that his is not just obsessed with dying. He is possessed with the very thought of it. In fact, so possessed with the thought and thirst for the moment that he can die, it made me sick to my stomach. And when I found out why he wanted to die. I cried. Not just cried, I sobbed with grief.
They become suicide partners, and plan to jump off a cliff into a river on April 7th. To hold hands, and drag each other to their deaths. Roman says a lot, "You're not aloud to die with out me Aysel."
I went through the entire book, not having any real clue on what was going to happen.
I cried a lot when reading this book. But this really touched me deeply. Cut me deep too. I don't really know what I was expecting in this book. But I wasn't disappointment.
My Heart and Other Black Holes ★★★★½ stars!
So there we have it. I'm sure I had more to say. But mostly on the talk of spoilers. *screams into pillow* I really liked the book, and would read it again. Tell me if you have ever read it. And what you thought about it.